Mr. Slinky

Last night after Cameron got his homework done, we played school. Cameron's idea; Cameron was the teacher. His name was Mr. Slinky. Sleeeen-Keey. It began with pretty much all of us being naughty students. We kept interrupting him while he was teaching, and Emily and Christopher kept grabbing stuff off of his "desk" when he wasn't looking. At one point he realized that his desk was cleared. Then what it sounded like he said was, "Hey, where'd my sh*t go?" Did your eyebrows just raise? Ours did. (Me, Christopher, Emily) But since Chris didn't hear it, and I wasn't 100% positive, I didn't make a big deal out of it. Christopher gave his stuff back to him and he continued on. He was talking to us about his pet bird named Austin. It is a stuffed eagle that he plays with. We were allowed to ask questions but we had to raise our hands first. You know, like in school. So, we raised our hands over and over, tattling on each other and making silly statements that had nothing to do with what he was talking about. Basically trying to see how far we could go before he got tired of playing so we could move on with our busy lives of Facebook, World of Warcraft, Blockbuster movies and other really important stuff.

There was a certain moment that I felt very ashamed of myself. Cameron, I mean, Mr. Slinky said that it was time for recess. So, we all yelled out" yay!" and ran out of the room while he was still talking. Like little kids. Oops. After a couple of minutes I came back, kinda thinking "school" was over and Cameron was on to something else. Not! What was I thinking, this is Cameron. His mind is like a still trap. He does not forget where he left off. (Right pawpaw?) The sight of that little boy just broke my heart. He was sitting quietly in the middle of his bed with his bottom lip quivering, tears dripping, and his cheeks flushed. I asked him what happened and he said everyone ran away. Ouch. We were supposed to line up at the door first so he could lead us. Aaww. So, I brought him back to the living room and I sat back down on the floor and became a good student. For a while anyway.

I found out, because I'm a good student and sat quietly and listened, that Austin doesn't eat mice, or frogs, or worms, or berries, or bird seed. He doesn't eat at all because eating is too exciting and Austin likes boring. He's also alive, not dead. And if you move your head side to side as if saying "no", Austin gets upset because that is too exciting. Strange bird. Silly boy. It was fun, for me anyway. I'd like to say I could have sat there all night with him. But my bottom was getting tired of sitting on that floor. So, I became restless just like the rest of the students around me. We egged each other on. I'd raise my hand to ask a question and Emily would poke me in the ribs with her bony fingers because I was "making it last too long with my questions, so stop it!". So I raised my hand again to tattle on her for poking me. And while she was getting in trouble, I'd stick my tongue out at her, then she would tattle on me. She ended up in time-out. Hee hee! That's what she gets for cutting up the whole time while I sat quietly and listened. Mr. Slinky knew I wasn't a trouble maker and he believed me when I denied sticking my tongue out.

But from there things just got worse. We just kept being naughty. Finally, Mr. Slinky yelled, "I HATE teaching first graders!" Again, did your eyebrows just raise? It got my mind wondering. Did he hear that at school? I raised my hand and told him I was in Kindergarten. He told me he likes Kindergartners. I asked him, "Why do you hate first graders? Does your teacher hate first graders too?" OK, get ready for this. He said, "No, she hates Kindergartners." I asked him how he knew, did she say it? And the answer was pretty long, but believable. She is after all, a first grade teacher. This year, due to budget cuts and lack of teachers, she is having to teach Kinder and 1st grade together. So, I don't know what to do with what he said. He's 5 yes, but why would he say that? Anyway, I didn't make a big deal of that either. I figure we'll just keep our ears peeled for anything else like that. And also ask what would YOU do? There's no point in saying anything to the teacher; she would just deny it. I don't want to start a big mess, because what if she didn't say it. And if she did, I'm sure she regretted it as soon as it crossed her lips. We all have our moments of frustration where our mouths say something before our brains shut us up. I know I have many, many times. But what if she really does hate teaching kindergartners? Advice?

Anyway, like I said, we didn't make a big deal out of it. He adores his teacher and we don't want him to know she did something wrong. We just continued to play school for a few more minutes until he dismissed us and walked us to where our parents were waiting. He told us he'll see us tomorrow and waved goodbye. Then he went back to his desk because"teachers live at school."

It was incredibly precious and I really enjoyed the whole thing. I hope we can do it again, and I hope we can capture some of it on video.